Sunday, July 6, 2008

On Our Own

We left last Monday to take Tony's mom home to Pennsylvania and returned yesterday, Saturday July 5th. Words can't express the appreciation and gratitude we feel for the sacrifices and help we've received from all of the parents, mine and Tony's. It feels strange to be without them.
Some sad news . . . Our cat of 13 years, K.C., took a turn for the worse around 4 AM this morning and we ended up having her put to sleep around 9:30AM. Anyone who has ever lost a pet surely understands how sad we are. I feel particularly guilty for leaving her here this week, but I had no idea she was feeling so poorly. Apparently she was hanging on for our return (Or God kept her going until we returned.) She seemed fine when we arrived home, but was breathing harder than usual at 11:30 and I awoke to her deterioration around 4 AM I stayed with her, hoping she would pass peacefully and naturally, but watching her suffer just was too unbearable - by 9:00AM we decided to help her in her passing. (I haven't gone more than 30 minutes without crying all day - reminders of her are everywhere.)
As for my recovery, I am doing well, my stamina is building and my bad days aren't nearly as bad as they were just two weeks ago. I still have a lot of trouble falling asleep and getting back to sleep if I awake in the night. I've survived three sneezes this past week - not fun. (So glad that didn't happen any sooner than this!) I begin rehab tomorrow morning (6:30-7:30AM) I'll let you know how that goes. I have to go get a tissue - K.C. would normally be trying to lay on the keyboard while I type this. I miss her terribly already!

Love to all!
Joyce

10 comments:

Mel said...

I'm so sorry to hear about K.C.. Our dog hasn't been up to snuff lately and we also have been worrying about how much longer he has. It sucks! On a good note though I had heard you have your AT position in the fall and that is exciting! Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear that you lost your kitty; We know how that feels.
Brenden lost both his dogs when we lived in Florida..Harley, the black Lab from cancer ; and Autumn had a heart attack just a week later. That was the worst because he'd had her since he was 3 and she was a puppy...they grew up together. He still has her ashes in his closet and a photo on his wall.
On a cheery notre...the fun starts tomorrow !! HAH..says Chuck ! He's been there , done that...and says take care, he sends his best wishes to you.
Janice

Joyce said...

Thank you Mel and Janice. Rehab was pretty easy yeserday, they just showed me the routine to follow when I arrive each morning and had me on the treadmill for 12 minutes to guage where I need to officially start in terms of intensity. I was only there for 30 minutes. (12 minutes on the treadmill still made me feel dizzy when I stepped off. We will see how Wednesday goes.) I kept myself really busy all day yesterday, I couldn't breathe when I would slow down because I'd just think about K.C. Emotionally, I was having a hard time with not having one of the mom's here with us, and K.C.'s death has just really compounded those emotions. Honestly, I think I've been consumed with the thought of death since first learning it was time for the surgery last fall. First it was my death that panicked me, then Anthony's, after my mom left in June I worried about losing her or dad, and now K.C. actually did die. I'm just overwhelmed with thoughts about the future and the unknown- something everyone says is normal at this stage of recovery, but I'm not comfortable feeling this emotionally fragile. I'm hoping getting through this week after losing K.C. will help and next week will be better. It reminds me of the baby blues after Ashley was born. I know it isn't all about losing K.C., I haven't had much of an appetite for almost 2 weeks and I'm pretty sure it was related to Tony's mom going back to PA. It just feels lonely here. Thank you both for caring enough to keep checking the blog. It means a lot to me to have such caring people keeping a check on me. As for my AT position, I am thrilled to have another year doing a job that I thoroughly love. I am very blessed!
Love,
Joyce

Anonymous said...

Oh, Joyce, I am so sorry to hear about your cat! I know how overwhelmed we were when Boomer, Chuck's mom and Meghan's dog, had to be put to sleep. He was a very old dog, but such a part of the whole family. I know he was old, but I do think her missed mom these past several months that she's been in and out of the hospital. She's been in this time since Sunday, June 29th. We've been busy visiting her at the hospital or checking on her at home. Enough of that.... I'm so glad your recovery is coming along; and you get to start the fun stuff at therapy! Ashley will have to go with you so she can see your exercises and make sure you DO YOUR homework instead of you monitoring her! You'll be as good as new soon! Morgan has been busy with ALL-star practice and swim practice every day and swim meets.
I know she misses Ashley, so when things calm down, we'll try to get together. Take good care and tell Tony and Ashley hello for us. ~Brenda~

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your fur baby. I would of given you our cat on Sunday as I tripped over the gate that keeps the dogs out of the room where her food is as she tried to "race" me into the room. I somehow got caught on the gate while avoiding stepping on the cat and I ate carpet...not one of my prouder moments.

Ethan was SO excited to hear that he'll have you again next year. Oh my goodness, his face lit up with a huge smile! (We went to the beach with the Tuttles on Monday and he got the news there). Keep building up that strength--you'll need it to keep up with your 4th grade boys! :)
Still praying,
amy

Anonymous said...

Joyce,
Chuck says that your feelings are very normal for post-surgery...something about the endorphins that your body makes.( A fancy word for hormones ); shoot, we women know about tose !!
Coming that close to seeing the face of GOD made Chuck realize that he wasn't invincible ...the fragility you feel is the same thing. You've been made to realize that you aren't in as complete control as you 'd like to be.
Just remember that you're NEVER alone...GOD's with you.

Janice

Anonymous said...

Hi,
Been checking the blog forinfo about how you're doing with rehab and since there's no new news...I guess that you are tired afterward nd ar resting.
I pray that you are doing well.
Love,
Janice

Anonymous said...

GOTTA' GET MT COMPUTER CHECKED...

ITS' SPELLING IS ATROCIOUS!!!

Janice

Anonymous said...

my fingers aren't working, either.
j.

Joyce said...

Janice,
I'm doing really well. I need to update the blog, since my last entry sounds so depressing. I'm really feeling great and progressing in so many areas. Thank you for checking on me :-)
Love,
Joyce