Tony's mom and I went to see the surgeon in Philly today for my one month post surgical check up. (Hard to believe it's been one month already!) He and his nurse practitioner very firmly pressed on my chest around the incision and declared my sternum very solid (I'm declaring it a little too bruised still for so much pressing!) My x rays apparently looked fine, and after answering a long list of questions that I shot at him, he released me to my local cardiologist's care. (Exciting, but also a little scarey) The hospital won't need to see me again until it's time to replace this valve (In fifteen to twenty years, hopefully, although when I was gathering my things to leave Dr. Pochettino remarked that he'd see me in about a decade - I didn't say anything, but I'm hoping it's closer to two decades.) Even though I asked a million questions, I still keep thinking of more I forgot to ask.
He released me for cardiac rehab, which I will set up locally through Dr. Singh's office. I can also drive around town to run errands. (Of course I didn't mention that I drove in and out of the city for Larue.) I'm allowed to lift up to twenty pounds now, instead of up to five. As for how things are progressing, I'm going longer periods before running out of steam, but still find that laying down and stopping for a period of time during the day is still very necessary. (Didn't do that today and I'm paying for it now, I can't sleep and I'm really restless and sore.) I'm finding the physical recovery is much easier than I had anticipated - I had expected much more pain for a much longer period of time. For pain I'm down to two advil as needed throughout the day and haven't needed the stronger meds since the first week home. I still haven't experienced my first sneeze yet, but have come close many times. (Sounds silly, but I really think God is making that possible - I usually sneeze everyday, it's been a more than a month since my last sneeze. I dread the moment it finally happens.)
I'm having a bit more trouble emotionally than I ever expected to. I assumed I'd just be so happy to be here, I couldn't possibly be sad about anything, but I'm finding that logic isn't working. I'm still wrestling with adjusting to this "new" heartbeat. My entire upper torso seems to have been implanted from someone else's body, nothing feels like it's in quite the same place. Falling asleep remains a big battle most nights, but I'm sleeping for longer periods once I do fall asleep. I can't help but think about the "next time" from time to time and it's an emotional thing for me to address. I keep thinking mom and dad made me feel like their little girl again and they did so much to help me through this. Being Ashley's mommy gave me complete and total purpose and focus on getting through this. Tony guarded me and held me up through the whole process, from the first day that we learned surgery was unavoidable. Friends and family prayed and carried me through so many trials and triumphs along this journey (And thank you so much for continuing to do so!) My greatest fear is that I'll just be a lonely old lady the next time I have to cross this bridge. I keep thinking of Gerry, my hospital roommate, who was unable to go home because there was no one to care for her so she would have to be released to a rehab facility. I just don't want that to be me.
I know, there are just so many people in the world with much more to be concerned about and I have an immense number of blessings that I am so very thankful for. I'm riding through the blue moments and savoring the energetic happy ones - I'm truely amazed at all the successes I've experienced in such a short amount of time. Thank you to everyone for your continued prayers. Life is great and God is wonderful!
Love to all!
Joyce
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5 comments:
Ok, I was going to keep this a secret, but I'm the one doing your sneezing for you. :) I figured it was the least I could do... (man, my allergies are killing me!!!) I'm so glad to hear that your progress is so amazing! If you keep it up at this rate, you might even be super-charged to go back to school in August!
As for the lonely old lady...I don't think you have anything to worry about. Ashley wouldn't let that happen to you, and if she did, you have a whole army of friends who will still be around to take turns to help rehab your old lady butt!! :) You might even have former students willing to help out by then!!
Keep getting better!
Amy and Ethan
Joyce, you’ve been given the opportunity to get on with your life. You’ll be able to see your beautiful daughter go thru her teenage years, probably get married, and even have children. Imagine that, a grandma! You’ll get to see Tony pull his hair out as the boys come a courting. Tell him to chew on that! Just look back on the past couple of decades in medicine and then imagine the new possibilities over the next couple of decades.
When I was told I had cancer and given less than 5 years to live back in 1977, it was hard not to focus on what might happen. Married with 7 kids and with no savings to speak of. Well here it is 31 years later and I’m still kicking. I’ve seen my children grow up, marry, and have children of their own. I even just found out that I’m going to be a great-grandpa come next January. I praise the Lord for His generosity! Mom and I are just cantankerous enough to still be around in two decades, the Lord willing. We will “only be 90 years old”. When they find that fountain of youth, Mom and I will be right there drinking from it!
So don’t focus on the “what ifs” or the “whys” or “may be’s”. Keep your eyes on the goal which is to plan for the future but to live in the present. Just remember your Mom’s favorite saying “God grant us serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can and wisdom to know the difference.” Hell, two decades from now, you and Tony will be planning your retirement, taking cruises to Hawaii, trips to Europe, who knows what all.
Remember also that you will not be alone. You have your family, brothers, sister, in-laws, (perhaps a few outlaws), and more friends than ever. We all love you.
Dad
Amy,Thank you for taking over the sneezes :-) and Dad, I am very sure you and Mom will be around, and I'm sure you'll still be fixing the moon :-) Thank you both for your sweet words of encouragement. I hope my note didn't come across negative, because I really am feeling so happy and blessed. Just decided to share the thoughts that have crept into my head.
Enjoy the weekend!
Joyce
So glad to hear you got a good report from the doctor. By the time you'll need your second operation, you'll have grandchildren to take care of you:):) Just remember to rest when you body tell you it needs a nap:) We'll continue to send up prayers. Enjoy all your blessings.
Carole H.
Thank you for all your encouragement, Carole. I tend to feel guilty when I stop and lay down, but it definitely makes a difference in how my evening and night hours go. The prayers are so appreciated.
Thank you,
Joyce
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