Visited the Surgeon Today

Tony's mom and I went to see the surgeon in Philly today for my one month post surgical check up. (Hard to believe it's been one month already!) He and his nurse practitioner very firmly pressed on my chest around the incision and declared my sternum very solid (I'm declaring it a little too bruised still for so much pressing!) My x rays apparently looked fine, and after answering a long list of questions that I shot at him, he released me to my local cardiologist's care. (Exciting, but also a little scarey) The hospital won't need to see me again until it's time to replace this valve (In fifteen to twenty years, hopefully, although when I was gathering my things to leave Dr. Pochettino remarked that he'd see me in about a decade - I didn't say anything, but I'm hoping it's closer to two decades.) Even though I asked a million questions, I still keep thinking of more I forgot to ask.

He released me for cardiac rehab, which I will set up locally through Dr. Singh's office. I can also drive around town to run errands. (Of course I didn't mention that I drove in and out of the city for Larue.) I'm allowed to lift up to twenty pounds now, instead of up to five. As for how things are progressing, I'm going longer periods before running out of steam, but still find that laying down and stopping for a period of time during the day is still very necessary. (Didn't do that today and I'm paying for it now, I can't sleep and I'm really restless and sore.) I'm finding the physical recovery is much easier than I had anticipated - I had expected much more pain for a much longer period of time. For pain I'm down to two advil as needed throughout the day and haven't needed the stronger meds since the first week home. I still haven't experienced my first sneeze yet, but have come close many times. (Sounds silly, but I really think God is making that possible - I usually sneeze everyday, it's been a more than a month since my last sneeze. I dread the moment it finally happens.)

I'm having a bit more trouble emotionally than I ever expected to. I assumed I'd just be so happy to be here, I couldn't possibly be sad about anything, but I'm finding that logic isn't working. I'm still wrestling with adjusting to this "new" heartbeat. My entire upper torso seems to have been implanted from someone else's body, nothing feels like it's in quite the same place. Falling asleep remains a big battle most nights, but I'm sleeping for longer periods once I do fall asleep. I can't help but think about the "next time" from time to time and it's an emotional thing for me to address. I keep thinking mom and dad made me feel like their little girl again and they did so much to help me through this. Being Ashley's mommy gave me complete and total purpose and focus on getting through this. Tony guarded me and held me up through the whole process, from the first day that we learned surgery was unavoidable. Friends and family prayed and carried me through so many trials and triumphs along this journey (And thank you so much for continuing to do so!) My greatest fear is that I'll just be a lonely old lady the next time I have to cross this bridge. I keep thinking of Gerry, my hospital roommate, who was unable to go home because there was no one to care for her so she would have to be released to a rehab facility. I just don't want that to be me.

I know, there are just so many people in the world with much more to be concerned about and I have an immense number of blessings that I am so very thankful for. I'm riding through the blue moments and savoring the energetic happy ones - I'm truely amazed at all the successes I've experienced in such a short amount of time. Thank you to everyone for your continued prayers. Life is great and God is wonderful!
Love to all!
Joyce

Sorry for the lack of communication . . .

My computer, or my modem, or both, have had issues and logging onto the internet has been a challenge. The plavix seems to have corrected the vision issues so no need to do the TEE right now (yay!) Last Friday was a big day for me, I had two doctor appointments (both said I'm recovering "remarkably well,” I lay flat on my back and on my sides for the echo (two things I thought would make me break, but turned out to be not so bad) no nap all day, and a visit with friends from work at Smith and Co. that evening. First day without a nap and lots of on the go activity - I was so happy to be feeling like things were normal again,
but . . .I wasn't feeling quite so normal for the remainder of the weekend - very sore and run down. My sister came to visit with her beautiful baby, Ava, and I was so happy to have their company for Ashley, myself, and for mom. Dad arrived on Tuesday, planning on staying through the weekend. Tony was happy to have another guy around. Judy left on Wednesday heading for Northern VA just in time for the severe storms. After the storms/tornadoes last night, Dad had to leave this morning to assess the damage at his house in Virginia. Nothing terribly serious, but some beloved landscape was damaged. He’s really been traveling a lot these past few weeks.
I visit the surgeon on June 19th and hope to be cleared for driving and rehab - so that feeling of being normal won't seem so far off. Hope everyone is well and thank you again for all your support and encouragement! We will post some pictures from the hospital soon. Stay in touch!
Love,
Joyce